One year later

Today is Baby A’s birthday! It’s hard to believe this was a whole year ago:

(247 of 269)

It’s been a crazy, amazing year. I can honestly say being a mom is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I never knew how much it would mean to be one. A has changed my life forever, in the best ways possible. Today has been bittersweet. My baby isn’t a baby anymore. I have a toddler now. It’s exciting and sad all at the same time.

Even though A has no idea what today is, we already had a birthday party for her, and John is out of town (unfortunately), I’ve been celebrating today for A. It’s a big deal, even for me. This past year was hard in so many ways; I feel like I should get a patch or something for surviving it with most of my sanity and no gray hairs. So we’ve been doing all our favorite things, playing with new toys, eating cake, and later we’ll take a walk outside. (I wanted to take her 12 month pictures so I could post her 12 month letter, but we had a butt load of rain the past few days and the ground is wet so that thwarted my plans.)

A toddler, y’all. A is a toddler. Life is crazy.

(I’m still calling her a baby, probably for the rest of her life.)

 

51 weeks

Since A was born, I have been getting the weekly emails from BabyCenter and The Bump all about “Your Baby This Week”. I stopped reading most of them when I stopped counting A’s age in weeks (roughly four months). Yesterday though, one came that caught my attention (and quite honestly brought me to tears):

How?

How?

I know A’s birthday is next week. I’ve been planning her 12 month photo shoot, drafting her (possibly) last monthly letter, and figuring out her birthday festivities. I’m aware of her birthday, certainly not in denial about it, so why did this particular happenstance cause me to get so schmoopy yesterday?

It’s probably because I’ve been super nostalgic lately (which is not really the best thing for someone as sensitive as me). The other night John and I were going through some old pictures and found ourselves looking at some from A’s first days home. It seems like just yesterday A was newly born. While I don’t necessarily miss those hazy, exhausting, endless days and nights, I do miss the snugly baby she used to be. I miss being able to hold her all day long, rock her, nurse her, take naps with her. I miss un-mobility and maternity leave, especially.

I can’t believe how much has changed in a year. I can’t believe the perpetually happy baby, almost toddler, I have now is the same fussy, colicky newborn I had many months ago. I can’t believe the baby that never slept now sleeps 12+ hours a night. I can’t believe the baby who never wanted to be put down now crawls everywhere and happily plays on her own.

But as I write all of this, A is sitting next to me, in her highchair, smiling her six-toothed smile at me as she babbles away, eating bananas and drinking milk. While I miss all of those things, I can’t say I’d trade the girl I have now to go back to them. She’s pretty stinking amazing, and I feel incredibly blessed to be her mama. It’s okay to feel nostalgic from time to time–natural, even, on the eve of a big event like a first birthday–but we shouldn’t let it get in the way of enjoying the here and now.

And I won’t. I’m going to savor this last week of babyhood.

And then I’ll eat cake.

From there to here

Just wanted to stop in to say we made it to our new home in Westfield, Indiana. It was a very long three days of moving, but we’re finally at our new home. Of course everything is a total mess, and we still need living room furniture, but we’re all here together and that’s all that really matters.

A did great during the car ride; she wasn’t fussy until the last couple of hours today, and I can’t really blame her. I was ready to be fussy, too.

It’s going to be crazy for a few more days, but I’m going to try to get back to a regular blogging schedule. Thanks for hanging with me and my family during our crazy move!

Achievement Unlocked

We had a rather exciting weekend. We ran errands, went to the circus, and A crawled for the first time.

Yes, you read that correctly. Baby A is now mobile. Kind of.

She is doing this army crawl/lunge/scoot thing that is almost too funny for words. She’ll get up on her knees, rock once or twice, lunge forward, then kind of drag herself some. Then she’ll kind of lay there and smack the floor and “talk” at you for a minute before she repeats the process. She doesn’t go anywhere fast yet, but she is getting the hang of it.

It was so exciting. The not so fun part of being a working mom is you often miss things. I was really worried she was going to crawl for the first time while I was at work, and I would hear all about it from her teachers. But my child is a lot like me in many ways, including her desire to please her mama, and she waited until the weekend to hit this milestone.

I have only caught her on camera once, on my iPhone, and the quality once transferred to my computer is really awful. I’m hoping at some point this week I’ll be able to get her on the Flip Cam so I can post my first video post of my now mobile baby.

Developmental roadblock

A is at a point in infancy where she is really close to being able to do certain things: Pull her self up into a sitting position, crawl, and completely self-feed. She is on the cusp of these developmental milestones. Close, but not totally there yet.

At eight and a half months old, I know a lot of babies are already doing these things. I’m not about to compare my baby to those babies, I know every child develops at different paces. It doesn’t really even bother me she isn’t doing these things (except maybe the feeding thing, it would be nice if more than one out of every five Cheerios she tried to get in her mouth actually made it there). I actually joke she can take as long as she wants to crawl–packing and baby proofing just don’t seem like they’ll mix well.

But someone is rather frustrated at this lack of development over the past few weeks. And that someone is A.

A wants to crawl so badly. She wants to be able pull herself up, and she wants to be able to get all those little Os in her mouth. I can tell how frustrated she is in the way she cries while sitting down, leaning forward to try to get to whatever is out of her reach. I can tell by how she struggles to sit up when she accidently lets herself get on her back. I can tell by how she furrows her brow and concentrates so hard while her fingers chase her food around her tray.

She’s close, so close, but just not there yet. I know she’ll get there, and soon, but it’s not like you can explain that to a baby. I’m sure all the mamas of mobile babies are mentally yelling at me to enjoy it while I can. Pretty soon I’ll be on a constant loop of “Stay out of the cat food!” and “Don’t pull her tail!” so I should enjoy my last few weeks of non-mobility while it lasts.

Now if only I could tell her that.

The Spirit of America

A and I have safely made it to Massachusetts in one piece! All in all, our trip up here went really well. I don’t think things could have gone much smoother. A did great on the plane, in spite of a very early wake up call. I’m already thinking about all the posts I’m going to write about traveling with a baby when we’re home!

We’re all settled in for the next four days at my aunt’s house on Cape Cod. Posting will be light till we get back next week since I only have the iPad with us. Hoping to post some pictures throughout the weekend, though.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Happy Blogiversary!

A year ago today I started this little blog as a project to document my pregnancy.

Today it’s a virtual baby book for Baby A, but it’s also helping me grow as a writer, and plant some stakes for my future.

I’ve had a lot of blogs in my life. I’ve never been able to keep one up for very long, so this is a huge deal for me. I can’t tell you how proud I am of this little blog. I can never express how thankful I am for every view, every like, every comment. They all mean more to me than you could ever know.

When I started a year ago, I just wanted something to do after work, something I could later show A so she could see how we prepared for her. I hoped I would still find the time to blog after she arrived, and I’m very happy that I have kept it up. The fact that other people enjoy it? Well, that’s just icing on the cake.

In the next year (and beyond) of HSM, I hope to blog more (at least three times a week, hoping and trying for five), and adding new features. I’ve been wanting to try out video blogging for a while now, and this seems like a great time to start. I’m thinking a weekly, “Ask Hot Shot Mama” video, but I’m open to suggestions.

Thank you again for helping me get where I am today. Here’s to the next year (and beyond!) of Hot Shot Mama.