All the small things

A lot has been going on over here. Mostly, we’ve been prepping for the move, which is less than three weeks away. I can’t really believe that. For so long it seemed like forever away and now it’s right around the corner.

First and foremost, we have a place to live! After all the fiasco with the first house falling through, it’s nice to have an address to call home. It’s a little further away than we would have liked, but I think it will be nice, regardless. John seems to love it; he keeps calling it my “palace”, and I’m excited to get there and live in it.

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Our home in Westfield, Indiana

So in addition to packing, which feels like a never ending process, I’m doing all the little things that come along with moving, like getting the electricity and water put in our name, setting up internet service, and finding a new daycare for A. I booked the moving truck today, and now it all feels really real all of a sudden. We will be Indy bound in only 19 days. That’s crazy.

And in addition to all that, I am busy planning A’s early birthday/going away party. I’m really excited about it and cannot wait to share all the details with y’all. But for now, more packing.

Dear Amelia {Ten months}

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Dear Amelia,

You are now 10 months old. I know I’ve said this in every letter, but it’s just crazy to me that we’re here already. You are getting SO BIG! I mean, just look at you:

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If ever a picture personified you perfectly, that’s it. You are a very busy girl. You have figured out the crawling thing and you. are. everywhere. All the time. And nosy. You have to know what is going on at all times. You are pulling up on pretty much everything (the couch, the table, me, the cats), and even starting to cruise. You definitely are keeping me on my toes!

You can say “dada” and what I think is some version of “okay”. I’m not certain what you are saying most of the time, but you are. You, like your mama, talk a lot and you say it with so much authority, some times you almost convince me you’re the boss instead of me (who are we kidding, we all know who the real boss is around here…). You’ll talk to anyone and anything. Your daddy and I are gonna have our hands full when you are older, because you are the world’s biggest flirt. You are pretty and smart and funny and gosh darn-it, you are going to make sure everyone around you knows it.

You now have three teeth, and you’ll eat just about anything in sight. You have weaned yourself down to three bottles a day, and when you want to, you’ll even hold your bottle on your own. You have mastered self-feeding, and you even get upset when I try to put something in your mouth. You want to do it yourself. Which is just about your attitude with anything these days.

I got an email from the other day about the “transition from baby to toddler” you are currently in. I can definitely see it happening. Not only in attitude, but also physically. You are getting taller and slimming out. You look less and less like a baby every day. This is all terribly exciting, but a little saddening, also. I will miss being able to call you a baby, even if you will always be my baby. And I definitely miss your non-mobility. Seriously, can we go back to that, just for a few days?

I love you so much, sweet girl.

XOXO,

Mama

The laziest of days

A and I have zero plans this weekend, and for once, that is so nice. After weeks of running and gunning, it’s pretty awesome to have no obligations. Which is good, because apparently it’s supposed to rain all weekend long here. We’ve already been to the grocery and back this morning due to an early wake up, so we’re gonna lay low for the rest of the day.

I’m thinking we’ll do some playing, some packing (move is in T-three weeks, yikes!), some pinning, and maybe start working on A’s pre-birthday/goodbye party decorations. If it ever gets light outside I really need to take A’s 10 month pictures so I can crank out her monthly letter.

Whatever it is you’re doing this weekend, I hope it’s an enjoyable one!

The littlest mimic

A has really started mimicing me lately. Mostly she just mimics noises–smacking lips, oohs, ahs, and chuckles are her favorite–but she will also mimic my facial expressions. Most of the time this is pretty humorous. For instance I crack up laughing when she tries to mimic me raspberrying her belly or clicking my tongue.

But she’s also starting to mimic my reaction to things. She will look to see how I react to something new before she decides what to do. This is making me stop and think about all my actions. What behaviors of mine do I want her to copy? More importantly, what do I want her to stay far away from?

Nobody is perfect, I know, and I definitely have a few flaws I do not want A picking up on. I think the biggest thing I don’t want her imbibing from me is my habitual tendency to overstress and worry about everything. I am one of the worst worriers on the planet. It’s gotten so bad lately I am very seriously considering finding a therapist or someone to talk to, because it’s starting to interfere with my quality of life and happiness.

I do not want A inheriting this from me, because our life is wonderful, and the things I worry about are pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. I want her to understand a little worry is okay, even natural, but it’s unhealthy if it reaches obsessive levels. After almost 27 years I’m finally learning this.

Another thing I don’t want to pass on to A is my master grudge holding ability. In all honesty, I am probably one of the more forgiving people on the planet. It takes A LOT to get on my (real) bad side. Mostly I need to feel angry for a little bit and I’m good to go. I don’t really like being upset with people I love so I let it go relatively quickly.

But there is a line (it’s a fine line and drawn in the sand but it’s there), and if you cross it I am. Never. Going. To. Forgive. You. Ever. This is pretty terrible of me, I know. I will (and have) completely erased people out of my life. Did they deserve it? Maybe, sometimes you need to cut certain people out, but I hold anger and resentment for a very long time. Probably the rest of their natural born life. I’m not proud of this, and I want A to be a little more zen about life and people. It’s totally okay to get angry or upset if someone hurts you, and in some cases, you do need to let those people go, but holding onto hate forever only hurts you, not them.

Lastly, I have a tendency towards negativity that is probably my biggest character flaw. This is John’s NUMBER ONE biggest pet peeve about me. It’s probably my biggest pet peeve about myself. And it’s stupid because I have so much to be happy about and thankful for, so why am I such an Eeyore about things? I don’t know. I’m sure much of it is a learned trait–not that I am surrounded by supremely unhappy people, by any means. I grew up believing there is always a “better”, and you should try to achieve it. I often find myself in despair that I’m not “doing better” (whatever that means) yet. This, of course, is connected to the stress/worry bit, creating a pretty depressing cycle of self-deprecation.

I want to teach A that happiness and contentment are choices you have to make everyday, which will be difficult if I’m not making that choice myself. While it’s cute that she’s mimicing me, I want her to mimic the right things. You can’t always pick out what they will pick up on, so the better option is to make sure they’re all good choices.

Bath time blues

A and I are back from the beach. We had a great time, in spite of a sunburn (me) and a minor injury (A) (don’t worry, she’s fine; she bit it trying to pull up on the coffee table and cut her top gum–she was very happy to get a popsicle, and I think I was much more traumatized than her–it’s healing up quite nicely).

Anyway, it was fun, A really seemed to enjoy splashing in the water and playing in the sand. The only thing she hated was having to get a bath three days in a row.

I think I maybe in possession of the only baby who absolutely hates bath time. She. Can. Not. Stand. It. She screams like you’re physically torturing her the entire duration of her baths. Actually, she doesn’t have to even be the one bathing; if she’s awake while someone else is taking a shower (me) she screams the entire time that person (me) is in the shower.

It’s like she’s afraid of the water, yet she loves to go swimming in the pool and had no problem being splashed by waves at the beach. I don’t get it. I’ve tried bathing her in the infant tub, in the regular tub, in the Bumbo in the tub and in shower, taking showers with her, etc, etc. I’ve tried almost every baby soap on the market and invested in a multitude of bath toys. Nothing works.

Actually, taking showers with her works okay and is by far the easiest. It doesn’t stop the screaming, but it’s easier to control her flailing and makes it much faster so she is done with the torture quicker. But showering with A requires another person to hand her to me in the shower and take her out. This is how we bathed her at the condo this past weekend. It was just easier, and she was done in less than five minutes.

Because of all this, regular baths are like once weekly events at our house with good wipe downs in between. I would prefer to find a way to make bath time a little less traumatizing for both of us, as they will be sticking around and increasing in regularity the more active she gets. And at this point, I’m willing to try anything since bath time is becoming a huge hassle. She has to grow out of this eventually, right? She can’t hate being bathed forever, can she?

At the very least, maybe eventually she won’t be so vocal about it. I hope.

Things I learned on my 6 hour drive

…I don’t care if you pass me on the interstate, I really don’t. When you pass me and then proceed to go the same speed as me (or slower), then we have a problem.

…Even at 10pm, you will still sit in traffic for roadwork, somewhere.

…No matter where you are, all interstates are boring as hell. They are even more boring at night.

…That mini heart attack you have when you see flashing lights of any kind is up there with bending a fingernail backwards or smacking your knee on a table corner for “feelings I’d like to avoid.”

…It is possible to use the bathroom while holding your baby.

…5 Hour Energy does not last the full five hours.

…The “Range to Empty” function on my car is completely inaccurate.

…On a similar note, the “Expected Arrival” time on my GPS is also completely inaccurate, or it is in a totally wrong time zone.

…I love all the songs on my iPod until it’s in the shuffle function. Then I only like approximately one of every five songs.

…It’s a great idea to leave at your baby’s bedtime. Until you are trying to wrestle them in bed at 2am because they now think it’s playtime. Then it seems like a very, very bad idea. It’s the worst idea ever when they wake you up at 6am after only three hours of sleep (so….tired….).

More ch-ch-changes

So last week I got some pretty big news…

I got a new job!

While we were in Indy over the Fourth weekend, I had a job interview. I wasn’t sure how the interview went, which is bizarre because I can usually predict whether or not I’ll get the job right after the interview is over. For this one, I just wasn’t sure. I had pretty much convinced myself I hadn’t gotten it when I got the phone call offering the job.

I start August 26th, which means we’re moving a little sooner than originally anticipated. I had planned on heading up there after A’s first birthday, and now are plans are to move around the 19th. I’m planning on throwing A a “pre-birthday”/goodbye party so family/friends down here can celebrate with A. Luckily John has secured some awesome friends in Indy to help us celebrate our big girl’s first birthday.

I can’t tell you how relieved I am to have this job. It’s not that my current job was awful, but I was becoming un-enamored with it. I work with some pretty amazing people, so that was helping, but I was ready to move on.

But it’s also terrifying. The move to Indy is now very, very real and happening very, very soon. Before it was something kind of abstract. We were moving, but there were no firm plans. I’m excited about this opportunity but scared I won’t be good at it.

And because God has a sense of humor, I have a job, but we don’t have a place to live. We had a lovely house lined up, but as things are wont to do in life, it fell through. Now we’re on the hunt for a suitable place to live in the midst of all this.

It’s stressful is what I’m getting at here. I’m kind of just hoping everything with the housing situation will just fall into place since I’m not up there to facilitate it. I’m sure everything will work out fine…

…right?