Today was a very bittersweet day. This morning I said goodbye to my husband, and I watched him drive off to start the next chapter of our life. Without me, and without our baby.
John will be in Indy for four and a half months by himself. Long distance isn’t new to us. We were apart for a year while I was in grad school in Boston. This isn’t the first time or the longest time we’ve done this, but it is the first time we’ve done this with a baby, making it significantly more difficult for both of us, for different reasons.
John will not only miss me, he’ll miss A tremendously. He’ll won’t be here for her milestones, both big and small. He won’t be here for all the little day to day moments either, like belly laughs and bath time. I’ll not only be missing John, but I’ll also miss having a partner to help me with all the other little things, like laundry and meltdowns.
I’m also left with the challenge of packing and moving our entire existence almost 1,000 miles. No big deal.
In a small way, it will be like being a single parent for a few months. Luckily, I have a great support system of family, friends and co workers to help me through it. The hard part won’t be finding help, but rather me not being too stubborn or scared to ask for it.
I miss my husband. I know this is what’s best for our family, but I’m still sad to be without him.
And I’m scared to do this parenting thing on my own.