I read an article on Huffington Post yesterday about things you shouldn’t say to working moms.
I agree with and have heard all of these things in my short tenure as a Working Mom. I’d like to add to this list my most favorite comment I hear from meddling well to doers.
“Oh it must be nice to get a break and not be a full time mom.”
Sure, I’m away from my kid 8 hours a day, but that doesn’t mean I stop being a mom to her. And I definitely don’t get a break. I’m at work, which let me tell you, does not condone nap time, pedicures, or reading US Weekly while drinking a latte or other things generally associated with “taking a break.” It’s work. And it’s usually a huge pain in my ass. I work with the general public, so it also usually means dealing with general stupidity. So no, it’s not a “break”. It’s work.
I’m also multitasking, doing “mom” things, like calling the doctor, making appointments, making lists, making sure Amazon is going to ship A’s diapers on time, worrying about her general well being. Things like that. When I’m at work, I’m always thinking about A while trying to be a productive employee. Not only am I still a full time mom, but I’m a full time employee too.
(I don’t say this to imply SAHMs have it easier. I don’t think that at all. I think our jobs are equally difficult in different ways.)
I’ve given up a lot to support my family. Could we make it work on one income? Probably. It would mean a lot of scrimping and saving, a lot of worrying about finances. It would also mean losing the valuable group health insurance my job provides. I’ve priced out private vendors, and we’d be paying equal to what daycare costs for all of us to be covered (maybe it would be different with Obamacare? Not sure). All without a second income. So me not working really isn’t a feasible option right now.
Because I work, I’m excluded from a lot of local mom circles who meet during the day. For instance, the local La Leche League meets on Fridays. In the morning. When I’m at work. I would have really liked to attend meetings, especially when I was really struggling with breast feeding, but I can’t because I work.
It seems that most “mommy groups” are skewed to SAHMs. I’ve found some kindred spirits in the moms of A’s playmates at day care, but I often forget what an awesome tool the Internet is. So I’m putting out a call to all working moms, near and far. If you’re a working mom now or going to be one soon, let’s be pals. There’s strength in numbers, and a few more friends never hurts. Plus I could definitely use a stronger support system of working mommy sisters, you know? Because let’s face it, we’re all going to hear the those things a lot. And even though we know we’re doing what’s best for our families, what’s best for our children, sometimes you still want a shoulder to cry on (figuratively or literally) who understands.